Your GIRLFRIEND has kept a journal/diary for years and you have never thought anything of it. You just dont care, and you also understand that there are boundaries that u have to respect in a relationship.
Years go by....
The two of you are happily married now and your WIFE is still diligent in her journal entries.
MY question is, do you, as her husband, have the RIGHT to read her journal? If she insists that they're her private thoughts and would prefer that they remain that way.... is that ok?
I'm sure that somewhere in the realm of psychology it encourages people to get out their thoughts and emotions on paper as some sort of therapeutic exercise, but within the realm of MARRIAGE, do the rules change?
I'm asking a lot questions this time because I'm straddling the fence on this one (<----bad figure of speech).
..........
I roll over in the bed to see my wife writing away in her journal...
Me: "hey honey, u wanna share some of what you writin' there?"
My wife: " Naw son, stay where u at?" (i envisioned her with a NY accent... and subtly disrepectful.lol)
Me: "C'mon babe, stop playin... I just wanna here your thoughts. You know, get in your mind."
Wifey: "umm... I dont think thats a good idea...hun."
She pats my chest twice and gets back to writing...
now I know I over-did it, but u know what I mean..
She gotta be hiding SOMETHING, right?!!
My imagination would run wild with all the things she could be writing!!
Divorce or some form of domestic violence is sure to follow such behavior...(the latter may be a bit extreme)
On the other hand, if I had a journal, which I don't, and I wrote my inner most feelings about everything around me, I'm sure I would probably have some messed up stuff in there about my mate that I probably would not want her to see, much less share, for fear of her looking at me or our relationship different.
Think about it. If you found out that your mate found one of your friends attractive, or they find out that you actually hate his/her family, this could cause some serious rifts in a relationship; and I dont think I am being far fetched in my examples... these are normal thoughts that people could have! I mean is sharing EVERYTHING healthy in a relationship?
So, yes, to save yourself an arguement over stuff that could hurt someone's feelings or stuff that happened so long ago that you don't even feel the same way,...YES, don't share your journal...
Could go either way...
be free...
let me know wut u think?
-Ono
Just think about it? If you had a way to vent your fustrations and thoughts without others looking...and BAM someone finds it and reads all your thoughts! How would you feel? The point is everyone needs a way to vent, now having a diary in a house with ur man is not smart, bc it is human nature to bit (look) at the "forbidden" fruit (journal).
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't do it, it was there before you were married and it obviously helped bc whatever she is writing is not interferring with u.