Nudey Mags and Haircuts.

7th Grade.
My family had recently moved and I was attending a new middle school. I was LOVIN it, because I had juss shed all my baby fat and this was the perfect opportunity to reinvent myself. So I was becoming the popular kid that I always wanted to be (thats a blog for another day)...


Any way, I was making some bad friends in the process... I had a pretty cool white buddy that I caught myself calling a friend. I mean we were in all of the same classes, plus he was one of those white guys that was "appreciative" of the black culture..lol. So, my friend had the brilliant idea of bringing a nudey mag to school. We decided to go peep the mag during lunch...dumb, i know! Long story short, we got caught and were written up. PARENTS CONTACTED... yea, not good.


THIS was the day that my pop decided he was going to cut our hair. We had been going to a barber for a while, but on THIS day, my father decided to try his hand with the clippers...

"You guys are costing me a fortune... 

who can't barb(bahb) hair?!"

*He had yet to comment on what had happened at school that day...


He set up shop on the back porch. I'm not sure how we elected who would go first, but I do remember that I had a huge lump in my throat and my brother and I were both mopin around with watery eyes.
My lil' bro went first...
It was painful to watch.
I'm sure that my dad was going for a bald fade, but I could remember that Efe's fade.... well, was not a fade at all... Efe got up from his chair with his hair lookin all uneven, rough, and if my memory serves me correct Pops didnt even give him a line!!


My turn...


Look, I had alot on the line here... New school, new image, new persona... Pops wasnt juss gonna take all that away with one wave of his magic wand; in this case, his old rusty clippers. Well, he wasn't gonna take it without a fight. I decided to speak up. I started from where I had been standing...

"Daddy, I dont need a haircut.."

"Onaome, come and sit down.."

His voice commanded my body as if it had some kind of power over it. So i slowly and quietly walked over while inside I was screaming, rationalizing, and contemplating... 

"Look, you may have to run..."

But that wasn't happening.

"Daddy, I dont need a haircut."

He cranks up the clippers... I crank up the volume...


At this point I see that my Dad is going to make this an altercation. So from here on out I was entering a realm where anything could happen. You know, that realm where you know that some form of disciplinary... physicality is GOING to happen, but to what extent is a mystery...
But I also was determined and not going to give in easily.

"Daddy, NOOO!!"

...... yup, like a lil B****,... I mean girl.

And then the fight was on...
I threw my arms over my head to sheild my precious hair from danger. My dad began to wrestle with my hands, weaving the clippers in and out in an attempt to get at my hair!

"Onaome stop this! Are you crazy?!!"

"Daddy(dah-dee) NOOOO!!"

The struggle continued for a few moments  but was stopped abruptly by a breach in my forcefield...
I suddenly felt two thuds atop my head and a gasp from my on looking brother... an eerie silence followed..

"Welp, I guess its all coming down!"

He wasn't playin. Pops shaved my head clean bald. To add insult to injury, as my Dad cut he yelled at me, exposing wut had happened at school,

"You tink I sent you to dat school to be lookin at nekhed gehls?!"

I went to bed that night hoping that when I woke up, it was all a dream.

nuh uh.

Dad woke me up with another fierce lecture right before he went to work the next morning. 


Going to school, made it seem like I was bald for weeks...