It had to have been like the 10th grade. By this time, I had had several girlfriends, as most kids do these days (I am not encouraging having gf’s, I’m just sayin’), but none, I repeat NONE had met my parents. I don’t even know if any of them knew what they looked like. I had gotten in the habit of telling my girlfriends, that that introduction was prolly never going to happen.
“Trust me, that aint what you want…”
So yea, its the summer after the 10th grade and I of course have a girlfriend. She was cute too; light-skinned and popular, pretty much the only things that mattered to me back then, lol. No but really, we found ourselves “falling in love” with each other and I was willing to do a lot for her.
During school, I had no problem seeing her. I saw her during the day, and most days after school, since I was in sports. So not telling my parents I had a girlfriend was no big deal in that it had not yet inhibited us from having a normal relationship. The summer although was a different animal. How could I tell my parents that I wanted to go and see my girlfriend? How could I make them understand?
Frankly, I COULDN’T.
They are African, and dating at my age is grounds for a slap that my kids (if I can still have any) would feel.
So this day, the day that will live in infamy, I decided to tell my father that I was going for an interview for a summer job at the then new Super Target in First Colony. In my defense, I was REALLY going to go to Target… I was just going to pick up my girlfriend and have breakfast at Denny’s on d way.lol
I left the house that morning confident that I had it all planned out. I was going to jump in my Volvo station wagon, swing by her house in all my glory and take my baby to breakfast….(*southern accent*) I could not have dreamt of the unfortunate events that were to follow..
Upon arriving at Denny’s me and my baby sat in a booth by the window.
Waiter asks for our drinks… 2 OJs..
She asks me what I’m going to eat….moons over hammy
I ask the same…. Grand Slam
I glance out the window to check on the whip… 85 volvo sittin right.lol
Cars passin by… ’89 benz catches my eye…
My heart… stops
89 benz?!! That can’t be my dad’s car!!!
I quicly get myself together and I exclaim, “My Dad followed me up here!”
Luckily my girlfriend knew the deal, and a certain fear struck her face too… My next move has to be the most cowardly move I have ever made in my life!!
I told my gf to leave and go to the restroom, and I would call her when get out ..
Yea, I know… pretty weak.
Anyway she did what I said, and I was left at the table for a moment to gather my thoughts to assess what may go down…
“Man, I hope he don’t come in here hollerin”
“What if he try and hit me in front of all these people.”
“What if he want me to leave with him, I would have to leave o gal in the bathroom!!”
I try to act normal as my pop comes walking up to the building…
He stops at my window and knocks on the glass.
I pulled one hell of an oscar performance, when I acted to be surprised and jumped in my seat, as if startled, and stared at him in bewilderment… he stared back…
I shrugged my shoulders, as to say. “what are you doing here? Can’t you see I am here by myself.”
He points to the other glass of orange juice sitting on the table across from my glass.
I look at the glass. I look at him with a look as if saying, "so.."
He shakes his head and walks off….
At this point I am officially shook. I cannot believe what has just happened and I cannot imagine how much trouble I will be in when I get home. I am panicked and scatterbrained. So scatterbrained that I LEAVE MY GIRLFRIEND AT DENNY’S AND TELL HER TO GET HER MOTHER TO COME PICK HER UP!!
Yea, I know….pretty weak.
That was the longest ride home of my life.
i remember when ur bro told me this story...i literally cried laughing!!!
ReplyDeletewhat u do for love...man..PRICELESS!!
Keep the awkward stories coming...i feel like i can relate...well at least ur sister and i can relate very well with the "african father" thing.
{u know who i am so i guess there's no need for me to "sign" off}
ok...I have to comment, being that I am the girl who was left at Denny's! First of all, I must agree, that was weak, but how weak am I to agree to that!!!!
ReplyDeleteSecond, until now, I never knew how he knew I was there! OJ...makes sense.
Third, a significant detail was left out of the story. When he told me of this plot,I TOLD THIS NEGROE TO DO WHAT HE HAD TO DO AND WE COULD GO ANOTHER DAY! But he was certain it was foolproof! HA! Then, even though I encouraged him to do the right thing, his parents still blamed ME! WHAT!?!?!
My mom was cool with us being boyfriend/ girlfriend. We always had agreed (well...I didn't really have any say so!) I could start dating @ 16. It was a few months premature, but she really like Onaome and trusted both of us. Until this fateful day!
Then, the longest ride of my life... my mom catching me in lie after lie on the way home. Me:His car broke down, and once he got it started he just left Mom:well why couldn't he bring you home, we live around the corner from one another. Me: He just wanted to get home before it stopped again so I told him not to worry about it. Mom: Well I could have followed him, make sure he was ok. Me: He said he'd call me when he made it. Mom: why didn't he just take you to his house, and I could have picked you up from there. Me: uh...uh... What excuse is really good enough for leaving her daughter at Denny's? NONE! So after lying for a couple days, she broke me down into telling the truth.
Needless to say, after that, she no longer approved of our relationship (sorry O, I never told you that before.) In her words, "I love Onaome; he's a sweet young man, but I do not like you all together anymore."
And needless to say, this was the beginning of the end of our romance, but I must say, our friendship survived. Funny now, definitely not funny then!
lol hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
ReplyDelete"why didn't he just take you to his house, and I could have picked you up from there? Me: uh...uh..."
I am sooooo sorry!!! lol.
You knew my mom... Do you know how embarrassing it was to tell her I hid in the bathroom! Women coming in and out asking what's wrong! And then I couldn't read her face! Was she disappointed? Angry? Has she lost respect for me? I found out years later...she wanted to laugh at me. I was definitely the family laughing stock for a while...Awww,memories.
ReplyDeleteI didn't even get punished, or maybe I just don't remember what it was since the real punishment was the event itself!
ha ha ha, I remember this story! Naomes we can go for days on our fathers. remember the day I got home late from work and my dad slapped me in fron of yall? or remember when ur dad told yall to stop playing the game upstairs and u and roy did anyway? lol good times
ReplyDeleteLMMFAO... This story never gets old O. Lord knows you have plenty of other stories to tell the masses; however, this has to be the funniest. We've all failed at trying to get away with mischief in our lives but you patented it...
ReplyDeleteI didn't know the whole "call your mom to come get you" moment. I thought she drove herself. Classic OnoFail